Thoughts while waiting for the Geek Squad:

If Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals…

If a packet hits a pocket in a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket is an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted ‘cause the index doesn’t hash,

Then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash!

The label on the cable on the gable at your house

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,

That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss.

And the icons in your window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang.

…Author unknown, submitted by Carla Ledbetter

A Japanese firm has decided to replace impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft messages with some original, suitable Haiku. A few selections chosen not so randomly:

Yesterday it worked

Today it is not working

Windows is like that.

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes, and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

With searching comes loss

and the presence of absence

"My Novel" is not found.

A crash reduces

Your expensive computer

To simple stone.

First snow the silence.

This thousand dollar screen

dies so beautifully.

And on the funnier side…

Favorite Quote: Never lend your car to anyone to whom you’ve given birth. Erma Bombeck

Favorite Tee- Shirt: My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

Law and Disorder: The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

Gas prices got you down? The QE II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel it burns.

Members are invited to submit ticklish tidbits or jolly jests to the Amusement Room. Contact LadyM